Today

This last few days, or weeks I have been in a constant state of srewed. I am screwed if I am honest and I am screwed if I bullshit my way forward. I thought that I knew all the pieces to the puzzle, that I had all the information, and I was so wrong. Now I am trying to rethink things, that used to make sense. I am now looking at things differently, the people around me in a new light. I would never judge someone on how they feel, or what they feel, but, I have no one to help me figure out my feelings. At least not without being, or at least feeling like I am, wrong somehow..

I have this list in my head that I think I need to get out... it will make no sense to anyone(well at least almost anyone) But I fear the reactions and fall out of actually writing them down, but I must say, as I look at my mom's picture, the hell with FEAR. We have only to fear that which is unknown, and I know what I want, and what I truely fear.

Reasons for;
no one drives me crazier and stays around
I can't sdo it, I thought I could write it out, but things that happened this past weekend have put a stalemate on my thinking. On my emotions. My brain is like a giant sponge, except that I can't seem to wring out the information once its there.