Lost

I am a lost soul. Searching eternally for something, not just someone. That is a misconception that many people hold, that being lost can be cured by "finding another warm body". Well, it doesn't do shit for me. I am lost inside, in a place that I am only now starting to look at myself. I have always known that it was there, this dark area just below the surface, its like you are standing on a diving board on some lake somewhere, and when you look down you see, nothing but blackness. You know in youre mind that there is something lurking there under the surface, but you just aren't sure what.
Well I have decided that these "pages" will be my way to discover what lurkes in the waters of my soul. What years of heartache and letdowns, misery and saddness have left, and after all the shit is scraped away, what is really left. A place for me to be me, without fear or shame, I have lived a life that many would envy, many would see me sent away to live in a monastary, some would laugh and say they have done the same. So maybe I won't solve world hungry, or any major wars, but I hope, and hope I have in abundance, that I can solve my own internal war, and in doing so, maybe help someone else free themselves as well.